This week three people have given me gifts. These acts of kindness came over three days. A pendant from a friend, a souvenir from her holiday; a gift voucher to my favorite coffee shop and an offer to baby sit from a friend.
It was after this last gift that I began to remember how blessed and lucky I am that I have people in my life that know me and like me, in fact I receive gifts and acts of kindness daily its just sometimes I don’t notice because when I do my gremlin in a quiet sarcastic voice begins to butt in, “do you deserve this?”
It is so easy to give to others, to do things for others, to make sure everybody is okay first. What is not so easy is to receive. It’s so easy to focus on the negatives and not notice all the wonderful gifts life has to offer even if it is only the first smell of coffee in the morning or a bird song.
To receive acts of kindness and gifts whether they be compliments, gifts or kind words goes against the grain of many of us, myself included. Society tells us to be good citizens, to help others to not be selfish and this will help us to be liked and thought well of.
I also started to think about the myths I hold about giving and receiving, and they go a little bit like this:-
“it is better to give than to receive”
“if somebody gives me something or does something for me then I have to do double back.”
“I am doing lots of good things so then I’ll get it back threefold.”
I’m sure you have many more that can be added to this list.
Once I had told my gremlins that it was okay to receive I had a moment of clarity. Acts of kindness are offered to me on a daily basis, it is my inability whether conscious or not to see them and let them in, and that is the block. Underlying all the myths, the beliefs and the resistance to receiving on an emotional level are all fuelled from beliefs about self-worth.
What I have realised is that allowing these acts of kindness to impact on me gives my feelings of self worth a boost. It also allows the person giving the gift to feel good about themselves too. I know because I always do. It is also the biggest gift I can give to myself.
I have been practicing gratitude on a daily basis for a while now and it has helped me notice all the wonderful things that make up my day. I don’t ignore the rubbish times I just choose to think of the nice things (this gives me the equilibrium to manage the rubbish times)
So as I undertake my gratitude exercise each day I will do so with one more layer of acceptance and receiving of the gifts that are mine to notice on a daily basis.
I proclaim to be a recovering receiver of kind acts and deeds and a big THANKYOU to you and to the Universe too.